When this place was ours And you graced each room And the air was laced With your sweet perfume. And the walls were right And the light was warm With no cares in sight For I’d never mourned. There was always love So above, the roof, Was of sturdy stuff And no tiles were loose.
It’s heartbreaking how empty a place can feel when someone’s gone. You captured that sense of loss. The way love and presence can make a house feel alive, and how everything dulls when they’re not there. It’s like the whole space aches absence. Beautiful piece.
Thanks Joe. Yes, and there's a kind of literal dilapidation that occurs too, not only in mind and spirit, but in physicality. Even in the places around you. Thanks for your comment and insights. Much appreciated.
Of all my more recent poems, I think this one has a deeper resonance with me, so I’m glad you found something in it too, Aoife. The metaphor is simple, but I’m okay with that. Thanks again for reading and taking the time to comment.
Thank you so much, Izabella! So many compliments! I was pleased with how this one turned out, which generally isn’t the case, so I’m glad it resonated with you.
Thank you, Rea. Yes, nostalgia, memory, and how the absence of physicality can also directly impact the world around us. Once again, I appreciate you taking the time to read.
How evocative Scott. The rhythm got me as well. It triggered a memory of me reading a poetry book growing up (I was about 10 or 11), Dutch writers from previous eras. I had quite forgotten that I loved reading it because of the rhythm (or do you call it cadence in English?). I never read poetry again, no exaggeration, until I stumbled upon your Substack.
Ingrid, that's about the highest compliment I've had. I'm so glad you've discovered reading poetry again through the few pieces I've posted here. And I'm moved it took you back to a time when you loved reading poetry when you were younger. Cadence is quite right. I think I naturally gravitate toward rhythm and sometimes rhyme, even if its sometimes oblique. In this case if felt right. The challenge, of course, is to make the rhyme seem natural - something I'm working hard on!
Scott, I am sorry glad I found your little corner of Substack. I wished I could express myself as eloquently and thoughtful as you but I cannot. That is why I appreciate your poetry as I recognize my own thoughts and feelings in them. It *is* wild isn't it? I had completely forgotten about that old dusty poetry book! And how much I did enjoy reading poems, and writing poetry as well, in Dutch of course (before I emigrated).
Yes, Ingrid, I completely understand! Since I began to write poetry, it’s helped me to remember, and confront, and explore things that had been buried away for so long. It’s amazing to me how a piece of art, when truthfully expressed, can stimulate so many different emotions. And you’re expressing yourself perfectly eloquently and thoughtfully! My goodness, one of my great regrets is to never have learnt a second a language. I can safely say my command of the Dutch language is non-existent, unfortunately.
Thank you! I do too. Sometimes my poems seem to naturally evolve with a rhyme scheme, as this one did. It seemed appropriate somehow. As it happens, I did put music to this one too, which enhances your case for it to be a song. Although, I stress, the music’s not mine…
It’s heartbreaking how empty a place can feel when someone’s gone. You captured that sense of loss. The way love and presence can make a house feel alive, and how everything dulls when they’re not there. It’s like the whole space aches absence. Beautiful piece.
Thanks Joe. Yes, and there's a kind of literal dilapidation that occurs too, not only in mind and spirit, but in physicality. Even in the places around you. Thanks for your comment and insights. Much appreciated.
Incredibly evocative, Scott, you’ve managed to capture that empty feeling we all experience when someone is gone. Beautiful as ever!✨
Of all my more recent poems, I think this one has a deeper resonance with me, so I’m glad you found something in it too, Aoife. The metaphor is simple, but I’m okay with that. Thanks again for reading and taking the time to comment.
This is gorgeous, harmonious, symmetrical, rhythmic, and deeply moving. 💔
Thank you so much, Izabella! So many compliments! I was pleased with how this one turned out, which generally isn’t the case, so I’m glad it resonated with you.
The nostalgia rings in every word. In every empty room. This is beautiful.
Thank you, Rea. Yes, nostalgia, memory, and how the absence of physicality can also directly impact the world around us. Once again, I appreciate you taking the time to read.
How evocative Scott. The rhythm got me as well. It triggered a memory of me reading a poetry book growing up (I was about 10 or 11), Dutch writers from previous eras. I had quite forgotten that I loved reading it because of the rhythm (or do you call it cadence in English?). I never read poetry again, no exaggeration, until I stumbled upon your Substack.
Ingrid, that's about the highest compliment I've had. I'm so glad you've discovered reading poetry again through the few pieces I've posted here. And I'm moved it took you back to a time when you loved reading poetry when you were younger. Cadence is quite right. I think I naturally gravitate toward rhythm and sometimes rhyme, even if its sometimes oblique. In this case if felt right. The challenge, of course, is to make the rhyme seem natural - something I'm working hard on!
Scott, I am sorry glad I found your little corner of Substack. I wished I could express myself as eloquently and thoughtful as you but I cannot. That is why I appreciate your poetry as I recognize my own thoughts and feelings in them. It *is* wild isn't it? I had completely forgotten about that old dusty poetry book! And how much I did enjoy reading poems, and writing poetry as well, in Dutch of course (before I emigrated).
Yes, Ingrid, I completely understand! Since I began to write poetry, it’s helped me to remember, and confront, and explore things that had been buried away for so long. It’s amazing to me how a piece of art, when truthfully expressed, can stimulate so many different emotions. And you’re expressing yourself perfectly eloquently and thoughtfully! My goodness, one of my great regrets is to never have learnt a second a language. I can safely say my command of the Dutch language is non-existent, unfortunately.
This is so beautiful written, Scott
Thank you Nazish. I think I'm improving little by little. At least, sometimes it feels that way. Tomorrow maybe different!
Thank you! I do too. Sometimes my poems seem to naturally evolve with a rhyme scheme, as this one did. It seemed appropriate somehow. As it happens, I did put music to this one too, which enhances your case for it to be a song. Although, I stress, the music’s not mine…